just had a bad session with my boss, which throws me into a self-doubt situation if i'm right for this industry, if i'm doing the right job. so many things happened in this short period of time, two months roughly. from personal to career. time to do some self evaluation, decide my next course of action, and pray for the guidance from God.
Footnote - just realised that I have characteristics similar to my father. Guess i'm still my father's son and something doesn't change.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
all in the fairness of life
there are people in this world who has been created and loved by most, loved by many. he or she can do no wrong, it is as though God planted a kiss on that person's forehead and everything is fine and perfect.
well, there are those who has the talent, the brains, but no matter how hard they try or how much effort they put in, they are still not loved. they may be needed for their abilities, but never loved as a person.
so when you think about it, what gives? how does this all make one big universal sense. for me, my conclusion is simple, life isn't fair, and we can't do a dang thing about it, it's accepting the situation and living peacefully with it.
peace.
well, there are those who has the talent, the brains, but no matter how hard they try or how much effort they put in, they are still not loved. they may be needed for their abilities, but never loved as a person.
so when you think about it, what gives? how does this all make one big universal sense. for me, my conclusion is simple, life isn't fair, and we can't do a dang thing about it, it's accepting the situation and living peacefully with it.
peace.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
the sun and shine...
it has been rather wet and gloomy here in singapore for the past week. it's the year end rainy season. this morning, i got inspired and decided to craft a message to my dear friends.
behind the rain and gloom, the sun is always shining warm and bright. behind every sadness and despair, there is always hope. friend who are precious to us will hold our hands in times of darkness until we see the light.
unfortunately, some friends thought i was feeling depressed eventhough i'm not. so what do you think of the message?
behind the rain and gloom, the sun is always shining warm and bright. behind every sadness and despair, there is always hope. friend who are precious to us will hold our hands in times of darkness until we see the light.
unfortunately, some friends thought i was feeling depressed eventhough i'm not. so what do you think of the message?
Monday, October 6, 2008
are we taking a look or we're just blinded by...
our own reflections, to our own selfish needs? here's a prayer and a wish out the universe that humanity will reflect each other and see love, deep in each other's soul.
to some, this point of view may seem very naive, and probably stupid, and they choose to live building on a layers of protection upon themselves, eventually blinded by what is the most precious gift given to us, which is to live freely.
if there's anyone out there who reads ever reads this and knows the concept behind what i'm talking about, there is hope.
take a look - by aretha franklin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbND69CaJQg)
take a look in the mirror, look at yourself
don't you look too close
cause you just might see the person
that you hate the most
lord what's happening to this human race
i can't even see one friendly face
brothers fight brothers and sisters wink their eyes
while silver tongues bear fruits of poison lies
take a look at your children, born innocent
every boy and every girl
denying themselves a real chance
to build a better world
dear lord, dear lord,
what's happenin' to your precious dream?
it's washing away on a bloody, bloody stream.
take a look at your children,
before it's too late and tell them nobody wins,
when the prize is hate.
natalie cole added an additional verse of hope
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyQnhGJdxGY)
oh no, no, no, it's not too late,
we gotta tell all of our children,
that love, love, love is the way...
to some, this point of view may seem very naive, and probably stupid, and they choose to live building on a layers of protection upon themselves, eventually blinded by what is the most precious gift given to us, which is to live freely.
if there's anyone out there who reads ever reads this and knows the concept behind what i'm talking about, there is hope.
take a look - by aretha franklin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbND69CaJQg)
take a look in the mirror, look at yourself
don't you look too close
cause you just might see the person
that you hate the most
lord what's happening to this human race
i can't even see one friendly face
brothers fight brothers and sisters wink their eyes
while silver tongues bear fruits of poison lies
take a look at your children, born innocent
every boy and every girl
denying themselves a real chance
to build a better world
dear lord, dear lord,
what's happenin' to your precious dream?
it's washing away on a bloody, bloody stream.
take a look at your children,
before it's too late and tell them nobody wins,
when the prize is hate.
natalie cole added an additional verse of hope
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyQnhGJdxGY)
oh no, no, no, it's not too late,
we gotta tell all of our children,
that love, love, love is the way...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
a torchlight at a bar - slowly but surely...
it's sunday morning, and i just woke up earlier from the sounds of workers dismantling the structure at the community area downstairs. it is not usual that i wake up from surrounding sounds as i sleep very soundly. just had a week of two days of heavy drinking, thursday with magnus at home and friday night with kian, resulting with a hangover on sat morning. of recent, a certain emptiness with my life here, felt a certain restlessness, seeking to fill my jar of purposeness with something fulfilling at this stage. i prayed silently to God for his guidance and he has given me his answer, in his own way which i believe through my interpretation, the way to move forward.
i felt slightly different when i woke up this morning. i felt that there're some tasks i need to do. it started with cleaning my room and then having to pick up my bus tickets. whilst doing all that, messing around my itunes, i gravitated towards sheryl crow's music, organising the songs, checking out about her on wikipedia and her own website. reading more, she inspires me. she has collaborated with so many famous artists, won a big handful of awards, fought breast cancer, released her latest album expressing about the state of world we're in and the state of personal self and advocacy of positive change in this world.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheryl_Crow
now, this goes back to me, what should i do with my own ability, in my own little capacity? one thing i've thought about is i always wanted my own child. somehow, i find that's a big and challenging task, so alternatively, i will put my efforts into sponsoring a child in need somewhere around the world. next is to find a suitable organisation to sponsor a child. based on immediate search on the internet, there are two options - World Vision and Children International. Will update more on my blog once i've made a choice.
another thought is to inject more love and passion into my job. afterall, i spend more than half of my waking life to work, so if i don't love it, what's the point?
well, as per the title of this blog, it's small steps that i have to take, nothing of a revolution, slowly but surely and for the torchlight, well, it's a small torchlight i took from the bar on Friday, a small guiding light out of the status quo i'm in.
i leave this entry with a song from Sheryl Crow.
i felt slightly different when i woke up this morning. i felt that there're some tasks i need to do. it started with cleaning my room and then having to pick up my bus tickets. whilst doing all that, messing around my itunes, i gravitated towards sheryl crow's music, organising the songs, checking out about her on wikipedia and her own website. reading more, she inspires me. she has collaborated with so many famous artists, won a big handful of awards, fought breast cancer, released her latest album expressing about the state of world we're in and the state of personal self and advocacy of positive change in this world.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheryl_Crow
now, this goes back to me, what should i do with my own ability, in my own little capacity? one thing i've thought about is i always wanted my own child. somehow, i find that's a big and challenging task, so alternatively, i will put my efforts into sponsoring a child in need somewhere around the world. next is to find a suitable organisation to sponsor a child. based on immediate search on the internet, there are two options - World Vision and Children International. Will update more on my blog once i've made a choice.
another thought is to inject more love and passion into my job. afterall, i spend more than half of my waking life to work, so if i don't love it, what's the point?
well, as per the title of this blog, it's small steps that i have to take, nothing of a revolution, slowly but surely and for the torchlight, well, it's a small torchlight i took from the bar on Friday, a small guiding light out of the status quo i'm in.
i leave this entry with a song from Sheryl Crow.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
my perspective of life or at least what it seems
at this point of my life, i've more or less worked out what life means, at least to myself. what this means is the eternal question - what is the purpose to life.
to live life to the best ability I know how with the guidance of God. living life on my basic principles of respect and be at peace with my soul in every action that i do.
i'm not good at articulating my thoughts, so i end this entry with a song that sums it up. i still haven't done some of the things in my checklist though...
to live life to the best ability I know how with the guidance of God. living life on my basic principles of respect and be at peace with my soul in every action that i do.
i'm not good at articulating my thoughts, so i end this entry with a song that sums it up. i still haven't done some of the things in my checklist though...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
blessed weekends - me glad
last week, i suddenly receive a call from a Malaysian handphone, the voice on the other side immediately sounded familiar, but my mind couldn't find the name, suddenly it clicked - Lawrence. He was coming down to see a uni friend from HK but wanted to see if I'm free. Well, coincidentally, that weekend, I had nothing planned, zilch. So it was great that he called and I could show him around town.
On Friday, I went over to Royal Peacock to meet up with him and decided to take him to Chinatown food court. Surprisingly, the food there is rather good. Recommeded him the bak cho mee, and also ordered a plate of Hokkien prawn mee which is as good as the one at Vivo foodcourt. Right after that, took him down to New Majestic bar and there we caught up with what's happening with each other. Comparing notes on him working in London and me, in Singapore. I was rather surprised that he managed to earn back his entire masters course fee and expenses within a year. Come to think of it, it's possible as he would be earning about GBP70-80k per year. After a drink at Majestic bar, we went down to Clarke Quay, and decided to have more drinks at Iguana bar. Still like that place since Daniel introduced it to me.
The next day, watched Wall.E with Kien and then met up again with Lawrence for dinner at the Japanese noodle shop next to Robinsons. Until today, I can't still remember the name of the shop. Right after that, took him down to Brauhaus at Millenium walk and there we chatted more. The band there was rather good eventhough they changed the lead singer. The previous one was some Eurasian which sang rather emo classic songs, but this time, it was a good mix between classics and pop. During the session, I outed myself to Lawrence. I didn't feel funny telling him about me being gay and looking back, we've know each other for more than 10years, all the way back in London when we were coursemates and housemates too. That time, I was leading a so called 'straight' life. I did ask him if it was a shock, and he was totally cool about it.
It's Wednesday today, and the weekend is coming up again. Looking forward to the weekend of hip hop party at Arena on Fri and then dinner and mooncakes with the regular gang. Here's to weekends...
On Friday, I went over to Royal Peacock to meet up with him and decided to take him to Chinatown food court. Surprisingly, the food there is rather good. Recommeded him the bak cho mee, and also ordered a plate of Hokkien prawn mee which is as good as the one at Vivo foodcourt. Right after that, took him down to New Majestic bar and there we caught up with what's happening with each other. Comparing notes on him working in London and me, in Singapore. I was rather surprised that he managed to earn back his entire masters course fee and expenses within a year. Come to think of it, it's possible as he would be earning about GBP70-80k per year. After a drink at Majestic bar, we went down to Clarke Quay, and decided to have more drinks at Iguana bar. Still like that place since Daniel introduced it to me.
The next day, watched Wall.E with Kien and then met up again with Lawrence for dinner at the Japanese noodle shop next to Robinsons. Until today, I can't still remember the name of the shop. Right after that, took him down to Brauhaus at Millenium walk and there we chatted more. The band there was rather good eventhough they changed the lead singer. The previous one was some Eurasian which sang rather emo classic songs, but this time, it was a good mix between classics and pop. During the session, I outed myself to Lawrence. I didn't feel funny telling him about me being gay and looking back, we've know each other for more than 10years, all the way back in London when we were coursemates and housemates too. That time, I was leading a so called 'straight' life. I did ask him if it was a shock, and he was totally cool about it.
It's Wednesday today, and the weekend is coming up again. Looking forward to the weekend of hip hop party at Arena on Fri and then dinner and mooncakes with the regular gang. Here's to weekends...
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