a torchlight at a bar - slowly but surely...

it's sunday morning, and i just woke up earlier from the sounds of workers dismantling the structure at the community area downstairs. it is not usual that i wake up from surrounding sounds as i sleep very soundly. just had a week of two days of heavy drinking, thursday with magnus at home and friday night with kian, resulting with a hangover on sat morning. of recent, a certain emptiness with my life here, felt a certain restlessness, seeking to fill my jar of purposeness with something fulfilling at this stage. i prayed silently to God for his guidance and he has given me his answer, in his own way which i believe through my interpretation, the way to move forward.

i felt slightly different when i woke up this morning. i felt that there're some tasks i need to do. it started with cleaning my room and then having to pick up my bus tickets. whilst doing all that, messing around my itunes, i gravitated towards sheryl crow's music, organising the songs, checking out about her on wikipedia and her own website. reading more, she inspires me. she has collaborated with so many famous artists, won a big handful of awards, fought breast cancer, released her latest album expressing about the state of world we're in and the state of personal self and advocacy of positive change in this world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheryl_Crow

now, this goes back to me, what should i do with my own ability, in my own little capacity? one thing i've thought about is i always wanted my own child. somehow, i find that's a big and challenging task, so alternatively, i will put my efforts into sponsoring a child in need somewhere around the world. next is to find a suitable organisation to sponsor a child. based on immediate search on the internet, there are two options - World Vision and Children International. Will update more on my blog once i've made a choice.

another thought is to inject more love and passion into my job. afterall, i spend more than half of my waking life to work, so if i don't love it, what's the point?

well, as per the title of this blog, it's small steps that i have to take, nothing of a revolution, slowly but surely and for the torchlight, well, it's a small torchlight i took from the bar on Friday, a small guiding light out of the status quo i'm in.

i leave this entry with a song from Sheryl Crow.

my perspective of life or at least what it seems

at this point of my life, i've more or less worked out what life means, at least to myself. what this means is the eternal question - what is the purpose to life.

to live life to the best ability I know how with the guidance of God. living life on my basic principles of respect and be at peace with my soul in every action that i do.

i'm not good at articulating my thoughts, so i end this entry with a song that sums it up. i still haven't done some of the things in my checklist though...

blessed weekends - me glad

last week, i suddenly receive a call from a Malaysian handphone, the voice on the other side immediately sounded familiar, but my mind couldn't find the name, suddenly it clicked - Lawrence. He was coming down to see a uni friend from HK but wanted to see if I'm free. Well, coincidentally, that weekend, I had nothing planned, zilch. So it was great that he called and I could show him around town.

On Friday, I went over to Royal Peacock to meet up with him and decided to take him to Chinatown food court. Surprisingly, the food there is rather good. Recommeded him the bak cho mee, and also ordered a plate of Hokkien prawn mee which is as good as the one at Vivo foodcourt. Right after that, took him down to New Majestic bar and there we caught up with what's happening with each other. Comparing notes on him working in London and me, in Singapore. I was rather surprised that he managed to earn back his entire masters course fee and expenses within a year. Come to think of it, it's possible as he would be earning about GBP70-80k per year. After a drink at Majestic bar, we went down to Clarke Quay, and decided to have more drinks at Iguana bar. Still like that place since Daniel introduced it to me.

The next day, watched Wall.E with Kien and then met up again with Lawrence for dinner at the Japanese noodle shop next to Robinsons. Until today, I can't still remember the name of the shop. Right after that, took him down to Brauhaus at Millenium walk and there we chatted more. The band there was rather good eventhough they changed the lead singer. The previous one was some Eurasian which sang rather emo classic songs, but this time, it was a good mix between classics and pop. During the session, I outed myself to Lawrence. I didn't feel funny telling him about me being gay and looking back, we've know each other for more than 10years, all the way back in London when we were coursemates and housemates too. That time, I was leading a so called 'straight' life. I did ask him if it was a shock, and he was totally cool about it.

It's Wednesday today, and the weekend is coming up again. Looking forward to the weekend of hip hop party at Arena on Fri and then dinner and mooncakes with the regular gang. Here's to weekends...