there are people in this world who has been created and loved by most, loved by many. he or she can do no wrong, it is as though God planted a kiss on that person's forehead and everything is fine and perfect.
well, there are those who has the talent, the brains, but no matter how hard they try or how much effort they put in, they are still not loved. they may be needed for their abilities, but never loved as a person.
so when you think about it, what gives? how does this all make one big universal sense. for me, my conclusion is simple, life isn't fair, and we can't do a dang thing about it, it's accepting the situation and living peacefully with it.
peace.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
the sun and shine...
it has been rather wet and gloomy here in singapore for the past week. it's the year end rainy season. this morning, i got inspired and decided to craft a message to my dear friends.
behind the rain and gloom, the sun is always shining warm and bright. behind every sadness and despair, there is always hope. friend who are precious to us will hold our hands in times of darkness until we see the light.
unfortunately, some friends thought i was feeling depressed eventhough i'm not. so what do you think of the message?
behind the rain and gloom, the sun is always shining warm and bright. behind every sadness and despair, there is always hope. friend who are precious to us will hold our hands in times of darkness until we see the light.
unfortunately, some friends thought i was feeling depressed eventhough i'm not. so what do you think of the message?
Monday, October 6, 2008
are we taking a look or we're just blinded by...
our own reflections, to our own selfish needs? here's a prayer and a wish out the universe that humanity will reflect each other and see love, deep in each other's soul.
to some, this point of view may seem very naive, and probably stupid, and they choose to live building on a layers of protection upon themselves, eventually blinded by what is the most precious gift given to us, which is to live freely.
if there's anyone out there who reads ever reads this and knows the concept behind what i'm talking about, there is hope.
take a look - by aretha franklin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbND69CaJQg)
take a look in the mirror, look at yourself
don't you look too close
cause you just might see the person
that you hate the most
lord what's happening to this human race
i can't even see one friendly face
brothers fight brothers and sisters wink their eyes
while silver tongues bear fruits of poison lies
take a look at your children, born innocent
every boy and every girl
denying themselves a real chance
to build a better world
dear lord, dear lord,
what's happenin' to your precious dream?
it's washing away on a bloody, bloody stream.
take a look at your children,
before it's too late and tell them nobody wins,
when the prize is hate.
natalie cole added an additional verse of hope
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyQnhGJdxGY)
oh no, no, no, it's not too late,
we gotta tell all of our children,
that love, love, love is the way...
to some, this point of view may seem very naive, and probably stupid, and they choose to live building on a layers of protection upon themselves, eventually blinded by what is the most precious gift given to us, which is to live freely.
if there's anyone out there who reads ever reads this and knows the concept behind what i'm talking about, there is hope.
take a look - by aretha franklin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbND69CaJQg)
take a look in the mirror, look at yourself
don't you look too close
cause you just might see the person
that you hate the most
lord what's happening to this human race
i can't even see one friendly face
brothers fight brothers and sisters wink their eyes
while silver tongues bear fruits of poison lies
take a look at your children, born innocent
every boy and every girl
denying themselves a real chance
to build a better world
dear lord, dear lord,
what's happenin' to your precious dream?
it's washing away on a bloody, bloody stream.
take a look at your children,
before it's too late and tell them nobody wins,
when the prize is hate.
natalie cole added an additional verse of hope
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyQnhGJdxGY)
oh no, no, no, it's not too late,
we gotta tell all of our children,
that love, love, love is the way...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
a torchlight at a bar - slowly but surely...
it's sunday morning, and i just woke up earlier from the sounds of workers dismantling the structure at the community area downstairs. it is not usual that i wake up from surrounding sounds as i sleep very soundly. just had a week of two days of heavy drinking, thursday with magnus at home and friday night with kian, resulting with a hangover on sat morning. of recent, a certain emptiness with my life here, felt a certain restlessness, seeking to fill my jar of purposeness with something fulfilling at this stage. i prayed silently to God for his guidance and he has given me his answer, in his own way which i believe through my interpretation, the way to move forward.
i felt slightly different when i woke up this morning. i felt that there're some tasks i need to do. it started with cleaning my room and then having to pick up my bus tickets. whilst doing all that, messing around my itunes, i gravitated towards sheryl crow's music, organising the songs, checking out about her on wikipedia and her own website. reading more, she inspires me. she has collaborated with so many famous artists, won a big handful of awards, fought breast cancer, released her latest album expressing about the state of world we're in and the state of personal self and advocacy of positive change in this world.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheryl_Crow
now, this goes back to me, what should i do with my own ability, in my own little capacity? one thing i've thought about is i always wanted my own child. somehow, i find that's a big and challenging task, so alternatively, i will put my efforts into sponsoring a child in need somewhere around the world. next is to find a suitable organisation to sponsor a child. based on immediate search on the internet, there are two options - World Vision and Children International. Will update more on my blog once i've made a choice.
another thought is to inject more love and passion into my job. afterall, i spend more than half of my waking life to work, so if i don't love it, what's the point?
well, as per the title of this blog, it's small steps that i have to take, nothing of a revolution, slowly but surely and for the torchlight, well, it's a small torchlight i took from the bar on Friday, a small guiding light out of the status quo i'm in.
i leave this entry with a song from Sheryl Crow.
i felt slightly different when i woke up this morning. i felt that there're some tasks i need to do. it started with cleaning my room and then having to pick up my bus tickets. whilst doing all that, messing around my itunes, i gravitated towards sheryl crow's music, organising the songs, checking out about her on wikipedia and her own website. reading more, she inspires me. she has collaborated with so many famous artists, won a big handful of awards, fought breast cancer, released her latest album expressing about the state of world we're in and the state of personal self and advocacy of positive change in this world.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheryl_Crow
now, this goes back to me, what should i do with my own ability, in my own little capacity? one thing i've thought about is i always wanted my own child. somehow, i find that's a big and challenging task, so alternatively, i will put my efforts into sponsoring a child in need somewhere around the world. next is to find a suitable organisation to sponsor a child. based on immediate search on the internet, there are two options - World Vision and Children International. Will update more on my blog once i've made a choice.
another thought is to inject more love and passion into my job. afterall, i spend more than half of my waking life to work, so if i don't love it, what's the point?
well, as per the title of this blog, it's small steps that i have to take, nothing of a revolution, slowly but surely and for the torchlight, well, it's a small torchlight i took from the bar on Friday, a small guiding light out of the status quo i'm in.
i leave this entry with a song from Sheryl Crow.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
my perspective of life or at least what it seems
at this point of my life, i've more or less worked out what life means, at least to myself. what this means is the eternal question - what is the purpose to life.
to live life to the best ability I know how with the guidance of God. living life on my basic principles of respect and be at peace with my soul in every action that i do.
i'm not good at articulating my thoughts, so i end this entry with a song that sums it up. i still haven't done some of the things in my checklist though...
to live life to the best ability I know how with the guidance of God. living life on my basic principles of respect and be at peace with my soul in every action that i do.
i'm not good at articulating my thoughts, so i end this entry with a song that sums it up. i still haven't done some of the things in my checklist though...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
blessed weekends - me glad
last week, i suddenly receive a call from a Malaysian handphone, the voice on the other side immediately sounded familiar, but my mind couldn't find the name, suddenly it clicked - Lawrence. He was coming down to see a uni friend from HK but wanted to see if I'm free. Well, coincidentally, that weekend, I had nothing planned, zilch. So it was great that he called and I could show him around town.
On Friday, I went over to Royal Peacock to meet up with him and decided to take him to Chinatown food court. Surprisingly, the food there is rather good. Recommeded him the bak cho mee, and also ordered a plate of Hokkien prawn mee which is as good as the one at Vivo foodcourt. Right after that, took him down to New Majestic bar and there we caught up with what's happening with each other. Comparing notes on him working in London and me, in Singapore. I was rather surprised that he managed to earn back his entire masters course fee and expenses within a year. Come to think of it, it's possible as he would be earning about GBP70-80k per year. After a drink at Majestic bar, we went down to Clarke Quay, and decided to have more drinks at Iguana bar. Still like that place since Daniel introduced it to me.
The next day, watched Wall.E with Kien and then met up again with Lawrence for dinner at the Japanese noodle shop next to Robinsons. Until today, I can't still remember the name of the shop. Right after that, took him down to Brauhaus at Millenium walk and there we chatted more. The band there was rather good eventhough they changed the lead singer. The previous one was some Eurasian which sang rather emo classic songs, but this time, it was a good mix between classics and pop. During the session, I outed myself to Lawrence. I didn't feel funny telling him about me being gay and looking back, we've know each other for more than 10years, all the way back in London when we were coursemates and housemates too. That time, I was leading a so called 'straight' life. I did ask him if it was a shock, and he was totally cool about it.
It's Wednesday today, and the weekend is coming up again. Looking forward to the weekend of hip hop party at Arena on Fri and then dinner and mooncakes with the regular gang. Here's to weekends...
On Friday, I went over to Royal Peacock to meet up with him and decided to take him to Chinatown food court. Surprisingly, the food there is rather good. Recommeded him the bak cho mee, and also ordered a plate of Hokkien prawn mee which is as good as the one at Vivo foodcourt. Right after that, took him down to New Majestic bar and there we caught up with what's happening with each other. Comparing notes on him working in London and me, in Singapore. I was rather surprised that he managed to earn back his entire masters course fee and expenses within a year. Come to think of it, it's possible as he would be earning about GBP70-80k per year. After a drink at Majestic bar, we went down to Clarke Quay, and decided to have more drinks at Iguana bar. Still like that place since Daniel introduced it to me.
The next day, watched Wall.E with Kien and then met up again with Lawrence for dinner at the Japanese noodle shop next to Robinsons. Until today, I can't still remember the name of the shop. Right after that, took him down to Brauhaus at Millenium walk and there we chatted more. The band there was rather good eventhough they changed the lead singer. The previous one was some Eurasian which sang rather emo classic songs, but this time, it was a good mix between classics and pop. During the session, I outed myself to Lawrence. I didn't feel funny telling him about me being gay and looking back, we've know each other for more than 10years, all the way back in London when we were coursemates and housemates too. That time, I was leading a so called 'straight' life. I did ask him if it was a shock, and he was totally cool about it.
It's Wednesday today, and the weekend is coming up again. Looking forward to the weekend of hip hop party at Arena on Fri and then dinner and mooncakes with the regular gang. Here's to weekends...
Sunday, August 10, 2008
wtf - a matter of losing
just last week, i posted a song of the week into LJ - angels flying too close by beth rowley, originally by willie nelson from the movie honeysuckle rose.
the lyrics goes like this -
If you had not have fallen
Then I would not have found you
Angel flying too close to the ground
And I patched up your broken wing
And hung around a while
Tried to keep your spirits up
And your fever down
I knew someday that you would fly away
For love's the greatest healer to be found
So leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground
Fly on, fly on past the speed of sound
I'd rather see you up
Than see you down
Leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground
a friend msn me and asked me if i'm alright and cos the song I put up was emo and sounded like i just lost someone. I posted that song cos I thought it was a beautiful song, and reminded me about the people who made a difference in my life who no longer in contact or we have other priorities in life. but then it the thing is, some people who we shared a part of our lives and time, when they go away, we drift away silently.
i have a situation right now, i can't comprehend, and eating me up. it even feels like a bad breakup, with a friend, but what's not enough, i felt that i have lost another close friend in the process.
in a nutshell, I was my close friend here in SG. He was introduced by Ad about 6 months ago. We would hang out, together or with his friends. Movies, lunch, dinners, blading, plays, musicals, we would just do together. As i told my friends, he's like my platonic bf, cos the things we do together. in that aspect, i appreciate his company and friendship. along the way, i developed feelings liking him more than a friend. well, the thing is, i know that I doesn't feel the same way, but sometimes, his actions makes me wonder. so two weeks back, I popped the question, and from there on, everything starts falling apart. i introduced I to miss k, and now they've hit off, watching movies together, going for concerts, and all in all, i felt like i've lost two friends.
The above was written about two months back 10 August, and i never got around publishing it. guess it was something i'm not ready to share out publicly (not that there is anyone really reading this blog, just checked counter - 25 views, which most probably my own views of this blog. LOL)
anyway, since two months has passed, my feelings have diluted, it's not longer the intense feelings i felt when i wrote the entry. as of now, K and I are still wonderful friends of mine, i would go out with them as they are now officially dating. i know myself much better now compared to previously. it's about being able to let go and not get affected easily over matters, thus saving myself from suffering or pain. well, the pain was felt, but then now, there is no point holding on to pain. i'm just appreciating the friendship that both K and I have extended to me. may each of them find their own happiness.
the lyrics goes like this -
If you had not have fallen
Then I would not have found you
Angel flying too close to the ground
And I patched up your broken wing
And hung around a while
Tried to keep your spirits up
And your fever down
I knew someday that you would fly away
For love's the greatest healer to be found
So leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground
Fly on, fly on past the speed of sound
I'd rather see you up
Than see you down
Leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground
a friend msn me and asked me if i'm alright and cos the song I put up was emo and sounded like i just lost someone. I posted that song cos I thought it was a beautiful song, and reminded me about the people who made a difference in my life who no longer in contact or we have other priorities in life. but then it the thing is, some people who we shared a part of our lives and time, when they go away, we drift away silently.
i have a situation right now, i can't comprehend, and eating me up. it even feels like a bad breakup, with a friend, but what's not enough, i felt that i have lost another close friend in the process.
in a nutshell, I was my close friend here in SG. He was introduced by Ad about 6 months ago. We would hang out, together or with his friends. Movies, lunch, dinners, blading, plays, musicals, we would just do together. As i told my friends, he's like my platonic bf, cos the things we do together. in that aspect, i appreciate his company and friendship. along the way, i developed feelings liking him more than a friend. well, the thing is, i know that I doesn't feel the same way, but sometimes, his actions makes me wonder. so two weeks back, I popped the question, and from there on, everything starts falling apart. i introduced I to miss k, and now they've hit off, watching movies together, going for concerts, and all in all, i felt like i've lost two friends.
The above was written about two months back 10 August, and i never got around publishing it. guess it was something i'm not ready to share out publicly (not that there is anyone really reading this blog, just checked counter - 25 views, which most probably my own views of this blog. LOL)
anyway, since two months has passed, my feelings have diluted, it's not longer the intense feelings i felt when i wrote the entry. as of now, K and I are still wonderful friends of mine, i would go out with them as they are now officially dating. i know myself much better now compared to previously. it's about being able to let go and not get affected easily over matters, thus saving myself from suffering or pain. well, the pain was felt, but then now, there is no point holding on to pain. i'm just appreciating the friendship that both K and I have extended to me. may each of them find their own happiness.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
some things we don't understand
life - it is as such where a lot of things don't make sense. the most difficult part about life is we don't understand people, the motives, their actions, their reactions. We're all driven by so many emotions and rational, and the action that we do doesn't seem to make sense but yet we do it. We may act or react based on what we know best, but looking at things in the long run, we don't really know what we are doing.
dear god, please guide me on my mission and purpose and make it happen.
dear god, please guide me on my mission and purpose and make it happen.
Monday, August 4, 2008
a matter of taste - and the taste is tactless & disrespectful
despite your excuse that you don't think of the reasons why you had to ask me if my good friend, K is a nice person, if he sleeps around; my ex-date who was interested in me, now starts calling you, and hinted interest in you, and that he has asked you out for a play.
that in fact showed your level of respect to me, or anyone else for that matter when you know that right at the point of our phone conversation, it was me clearing the air that i like you and making apologies that i have put you through an awkward situation.
anyone who has a general sense of respect for other people's feelings wouldn't bring up such subjects. it's like a person who has fallen over a muddy puddle. instead of the helping the person to feel better, or better still, to help clean up the person, you just used your hands and pushed the person more into the mud!
i am sorry, but it's a single conversation - eventhough 6 months of friendship, it doesn't mean anything, when you have demonstrated your level of disrespect for another person's feelings.
that in fact showed your level of respect to me, or anyone else for that matter when you know that right at the point of our phone conversation, it was me clearing the air that i like you and making apologies that i have put you through an awkward situation.
anyone who has a general sense of respect for other people's feelings wouldn't bring up such subjects. it's like a person who has fallen over a muddy puddle. instead of the helping the person to feel better, or better still, to help clean up the person, you just used your hands and pushed the person more into the mud!
i am sorry, but it's a single conversation - eventhough 6 months of friendship, it doesn't mean anything, when you have demonstrated your level of disrespect for another person's feelings.
Friday, August 1, 2008
he's just not so into you
i finally got my answer. i knew the answer inside me that I wasn't interested beyond being great friends or "brothers" in his terminology. but i just get confused signals, so i was presented an opportunity to ask the question - "do you see me as a potential bf?", well in a less direct manner which i usually do.
through a series of sms, but it too a phone conversation to clear the air. what prompted me to ask the question was the gesture that I did that made me wonder if there's more than just good friends btw both of us.
on Tuesday, after my swim at Delta, he actually waited for me outside the pool to pick me up for dinner eventhough we didn't actually plan to meet up that day. how many of us actually do surprise pickup of our friends. well, i don't.
later that night, i msg him and thanked him for dropping by and said that it was a very nice gesture. his reply was he's even nicer to his bf. so i replied, "so there're upgrade options?" and "do i get to upgrade?". his reply back was "huh, what upgrade?". I replied nvm, and then the next day, we had a chat on the phone. all things cleared, he said that once a brother, there's no possibility of being lovers. so there. i had the answer.
moving on, i wonder if this changes the status quo? oh well, i'm sure it does, usually when someone show's interest in me but i'm just not into him, i will somehow be of less in touch so that the other person gets the message or either i wouldn't want him to harp on the feelings as i would know i cannnot reciprocate.
whoever I picks as his bf, the guy would be a lucky guy.
No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me.
Ray Charles - You Don't know me
through a series of sms, but it too a phone conversation to clear the air. what prompted me to ask the question was the gesture that I did that made me wonder if there's more than just good friends btw both of us.
on Tuesday, after my swim at Delta, he actually waited for me outside the pool to pick me up for dinner eventhough we didn't actually plan to meet up that day. how many of us actually do surprise pickup of our friends. well, i don't.
later that night, i msg him and thanked him for dropping by and said that it was a very nice gesture. his reply was he's even nicer to his bf. so i replied, "so there're upgrade options?" and "do i get to upgrade?". his reply back was "huh, what upgrade?". I replied nvm, and then the next day, we had a chat on the phone. all things cleared, he said that once a brother, there's no possibility of being lovers. so there. i had the answer.
moving on, i wonder if this changes the status quo? oh well, i'm sure it does, usually when someone show's interest in me but i'm just not into him, i will somehow be of less in touch so that the other person gets the message or either i wouldn't want him to harp on the feelings as i would know i cannnot reciprocate.
whoever I picks as his bf, the guy would be a lucky guy.
No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me.
Ray Charles - You Don't know me
in an ex instance - terms of endearment
yesterday, jason pinged me, and asked me, i used to call him jaby - short for jason baby, but what was the terms of endearment i used to call him. gosh. i have totally forgotten i had a nick name for jason, my ex. it has been almost 4 yrs i guess. he has found a new love, eddie and his new bf asked him that question.
with my poor memory, i couldn't really remember what was the term of endearment jason used to call me. but i realised that my gmail could have contained one of his emails to me, so a did a search. haha. he called me baby.
jason was my ex of 6 months. he's a wonderful guy, vivacious, bitchy in a funny way, full of life. somehow, our chemistry didn't develop so in the end, we had a mutual seperation. until today, we still keep in contact. he's the only ex whom i still keep in touch till today. guess we don't have emotional baggage left from our relationship thus we could be friends till today.
i wish him all the happiness with his new love. apparently, his new bf is hot and in demand. i wonder what he looks like?
with my poor memory, i couldn't really remember what was the term of endearment jason used to call me. but i realised that my gmail could have contained one of his emails to me, so a did a search. haha. he called me baby.
jason was my ex of 6 months. he's a wonderful guy, vivacious, bitchy in a funny way, full of life. somehow, our chemistry didn't develop so in the end, we had a mutual seperation. until today, we still keep in contact. he's the only ex whom i still keep in touch till today. guess we don't have emotional baggage left from our relationship thus we could be friends till today.
i wish him all the happiness with his new love. apparently, his new bf is hot and in demand. i wonder what he looks like?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
artistic photography - aymeric giraudel
Aymeric Giraudel, 34yo is a French photographer that does digital photography. He makes amazing photos, sensitive, magical, erotic.
His latest masterpiece, a collaboration with Beautiful Mag created the Prophecy. Watch it here.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=njoUhvpRVbA
His latest masterpiece, a collaboration with Beautiful Mag created the Prophecy. Watch it here.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=njoUhvpRVbA
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
looming thoughts of the muddled mind
need something big to change my current status quo. my mind is running to a corner, getting trapped with thoughts of the need of someone to hug, to hold hands, to love. and the nearest person to me is actually still very far away. need to eliminate that feeling but i know the more suppressed a feeling, the more it will come back and bite me on my butt.
i pray for a bigger purpose, i need to plan. planning isn't my strongest point. so in the end, it seems like procrastination to move forward. need to chart my success, and as of this morning, i want to make small contribution to this blog each morning whenever possible.
move forward... i shall
i pray for a bigger purpose, i need to plan. planning isn't my strongest point. so in the end, it seems like procrastination to move forward. need to chart my success, and as of this morning, i want to make small contribution to this blog each morning whenever possible.
move forward... i shall
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
i still have fear
I wish to tell you that I like you,
but i'm scared, of many things
i'm scared i might lose you as my very dear friend,
i'm scared of us being together, and losing you later,
i'm scared of hurting you, as i have hurt my loved ones,
i'm scared of being hurt, as i have been hurt in the past.
waiting for a sign, i don't see it.
guess i'll just maintain status quo...
but i'm scared, of many things
i'm scared i might lose you as my very dear friend,
i'm scared of us being together, and losing you later,
i'm scared of hurting you, as i have hurt my loved ones,
i'm scared of being hurt, as i have been hurt in the past.
waiting for a sign, i don't see it.
guess i'll just maintain status quo...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
dates - what defines it?
after the house warming two weeks back, i went out on a couple of dates with mr A. first thing that caught my eye was his sports car. but me not knowing anything about cars, my friends had to tell me that it's a Maserati and one damn expensive car.
So first 'date' was to watch a play under the Sg Arts Fest called Temple. Whoa, i was struggling to stay awake cos I couldn't make any sense of the play. 7 people, talking about things which doesn't seem to make sense to me, then random things happening like a band coming out and playing, girls in crocodile headgear doing cheerleading... the only thing interesting was the production and set which was very nice. after that, we went over to chinatown hawker to have dinner.
he asked me out again on saturday for dinner, so we went to Mohammad sultan and had dinner in epicurious. i ordered a burger, one of my favourite foods, but then didn't quite enjoy the burger cos the taste wasnt there. but the chip was delightful. crisp, thick and covered with sea salt which gave it a light salty taste but without the artificial salt taste. after that, we went over to st. james and met up with I, who brought along Alex, Alan and Silvia. Mr A had to go off cos he was having a headache, something he has been having of late. he should really go and see a doctor and see what's the matter.
anyway, dating mr A, i realised our age gap is two decades apart thus, the things we talked about was very contrasting as well. he is very articulate and knowledgeable. when we talk, i felt like i'm a student, being lectured about how i should be thinking, guess that's the difference we have and what they call it generation gap. anyway, i think Mr A gets the hint that i'm not keen to pursue. i wonder if there's more to write about Mr A in the future...
So first 'date' was to watch a play under the Sg Arts Fest called Temple. Whoa, i was struggling to stay awake cos I couldn't make any sense of the play. 7 people, talking about things which doesn't seem to make sense to me, then random things happening like a band coming out and playing, girls in crocodile headgear doing cheerleading... the only thing interesting was the production and set which was very nice. after that, we went over to chinatown hawker to have dinner.
he asked me out again on saturday for dinner, so we went to Mohammad sultan and had dinner in epicurious. i ordered a burger, one of my favourite foods, but then didn't quite enjoy the burger cos the taste wasnt there. but the chip was delightful. crisp, thick and covered with sea salt which gave it a light salty taste but without the artificial salt taste. after that, we went over to st. james and met up with I, who brought along Alex, Alan and Silvia. Mr A had to go off cos he was having a headache, something he has been having of late. he should really go and see a doctor and see what's the matter.
anyway, dating mr A, i realised our age gap is two decades apart thus, the things we talked about was very contrasting as well. he is very articulate and knowledgeable. when we talk, i felt like i'm a student, being lectured about how i should be thinking, guess that's the difference we have and what they call it generation gap. anyway, i think Mr A gets the hint that i'm not keen to pursue. i wonder if there's more to write about Mr A in the future...
Monday, June 23, 2008
if I can't get one, i'll grow one...
i have a weakness for macho guys with goatee. a well kept goatee always gets my attention. but then there are not many guys out there who has facial hair... thus, i've decided, i'm gonna keep one myself. i've started growing one since last friday. hopefully this will last longer than my usual few days of trying to keep facial hair.
Friday, June 20, 2008
rather empty - dress it up
my blog is rather empty. there's nothing pretty about it. hmmm. i need more visual stimulus. i wonder if anyone does ever read this blog anyway. well, as some say, a makeover is due. both, me and my blog. me thinks this is gonna be a slow process. but as they say (or did I make this up myself?), the first step towards succeeding, is the taking that first step.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
TGFW - thank god for weekends
here goes another weekend, a single guy here in singapore, no commitments - what does he do? as my friend, another recently singled guy - he works hard, play hard through out the week, which i wouldn't be able to manage myself and i wonder how he does it? he has time to work, gym, date and sex almost every day of the week, where as for me, i just leave my weekends to do my social activities.
come friday, met up with an old friend from kl, m, whom i feel unfortunately distant and unconnected due to the fact that we've drifted apart and things that happened and gave me a different perspective of him. we used to be close, we shared personal things, gave each other support as friends, we were called twins as we shared the same age, traits and our close friendship. he eventually moved on with his life, meeting new people, creating a new circle of more fabulous gym friends to the fact of neglecting his previous friends who was close before including myself. he lead people to believe things that otherwise, it wasn't a genuine reflection of his intentions thus there are many people who felt betrayed. so why do i still keep in contact? we'll despite the person that he is, he has done nothing directly to betray our 'friendship' so it's just nice to see a familiar face and see how they are. but guess catching up, i don't hear anything of his personal life. just how he is with work here, things which acquaintances would talk about.
anyway, after dinner with m at this lil japanese ramen shop in cuppage, we left to go our own way. right at 11.45am, i got a call from n, asking me to come out as it is his last weekend here before he goes back to kl for 4 months thus, i got myself changed, out the door and headed to tantric. as with friday nights, the place was jam packed, but the music was fabulous. pop mixes that has the dance beat that made everyone move. so after a couple of drinks, all of us, n, jk and a friend headed over to tabs for some clubbing. unfortunately the music was kindof blah thus we danced, and headed back after that around 2.45.
came saturday, k and me went over to s&m's place at simei and decided to get in some sun and swim at the gorgeous pool. well, the condo is filled with family, thus the pool was full of lil kids screaming, splashing and running around. i was reading uk's gq and k was wearing his low ride trunks and we couldn't be more out of place.
later in the evening, all 4 of us headed over to gary's housewarming, there was plenty good food. what was really unique was the bubur pulut hitam (black glutinous dessert) paired with pandan flavoured santan ice-cream. gorgeous.
and that night, most of the room was filled with couples and then obviously, the single ones were pointed out so that the singles can mingle. well, overall, there are some nice people that i would like to know more. at this stage, i shall take things slowly and see where it goes from there.
come friday, met up with an old friend from kl, m, whom i feel unfortunately distant and unconnected due to the fact that we've drifted apart and things that happened and gave me a different perspective of him. we used to be close, we shared personal things, gave each other support as friends, we were called twins as we shared the same age, traits and our close friendship. he eventually moved on with his life, meeting new people, creating a new circle of more fabulous gym friends to the fact of neglecting his previous friends who was close before including myself. he lead people to believe things that otherwise, it wasn't a genuine reflection of his intentions thus there are many people who felt betrayed. so why do i still keep in contact? we'll despite the person that he is, he has done nothing directly to betray our 'friendship' so it's just nice to see a familiar face and see how they are. but guess catching up, i don't hear anything of his personal life. just how he is with work here, things which acquaintances would talk about.
anyway, after dinner with m at this lil japanese ramen shop in cuppage, we left to go our own way. right at 11.45am, i got a call from n, asking me to come out as it is his last weekend here before he goes back to kl for 4 months thus, i got myself changed, out the door and headed to tantric. as with friday nights, the place was jam packed, but the music was fabulous. pop mixes that has the dance beat that made everyone move. so after a couple of drinks, all of us, n, jk and a friend headed over to tabs for some clubbing. unfortunately the music was kindof blah thus we danced, and headed back after that around 2.45.
came saturday, k and me went over to s&m's place at simei and decided to get in some sun and swim at the gorgeous pool. well, the condo is filled with family, thus the pool was full of lil kids screaming, splashing and running around. i was reading uk's gq and k was wearing his low ride trunks and we couldn't be more out of place.
later in the evening, all 4 of us headed over to gary's housewarming, there was plenty good food. what was really unique was the bubur pulut hitam (black glutinous dessert) paired with pandan flavoured santan ice-cream. gorgeous.
and that night, most of the room was filled with couples and then obviously, the single ones were pointed out so that the singles can mingle. well, overall, there are some nice people that i would like to know more. at this stage, i shall take things slowly and see where it goes from there.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
can there ever be too much sex....
...7 rounds, non-stop, which lasted about 4 hours... somehow, it feels rather tiring, but it's one of those moments where i get hooked on and i don't feel like stopping, right until the end, i feel so tired and can't go on any more. yet, when i was hooked, it was one after another, at the end of each, there is no orgasm, just the urge to continue with the next round. now just as i sit here and reflect, i realised that there times when i get hooked, addicted to something, i just refused to stop. and this time, it's sex... and the city. season 1.
Monday, June 9, 2008
firefox users, support the underfox!!
firefox is attempting to set a Guinness world record of the most software downloaded in 24hrs. i'm a current user of firefox and i'm happy with the software. so i've pledged myself to download on the day firefox version 3 is officially ready for download and be a part of group that helps it to set a record.
here's the link for you to pledge and be notified of the download day.
http://www.spreadfirefox.com/en-US/worldrecord
here's the link for you to pledge and be notified of the download day.
http://www.spreadfirefox.com/en-US/worldrecord
Sunday, June 8, 2008
weekend recap - animal instinct, chilling out at emily
well, the weekends almost over. yet again, a good busy weekend. friends from kl came down, got to see my dearest V. we went over to the night safari. my second time there, but the first time was sooo long ago, i can't remember much.
had bongo burger. it was yummy, as recommended by Ash. i was pretty crowded, but wasn't too impressed with the animals there. first thing is it was so dark, everything was dimly lit, couldn't see the animals clearly. duh, it's night safari, wat would i expect? LOL.
after the tram ride, went over the watch creatures of the night show. wasn't impressed as i thought i would see more big animals. but only saw owls, mongoose... cute little furry animals doing tricks.
on sat, celebrated shaun and thyetus birthday at wild rockets and then adjourned to the bar next door. had to leave shortly to meet v at blackberry. well, i discovered a new lesbian bar right at tanjong pagar. but it was kindof boring. just a simple place with a pool table. after that, we went over to toca me. that was much nicer. gorgeous bar, plenty of people, mostly girls, well, to no surprise of cos.
it's sunday, woke up and practically the whole day's gone. i'm still lazing around being unproductive... nice.
had bongo burger. it was yummy, as recommended by Ash. i was pretty crowded, but wasn't too impressed with the animals there. first thing is it was so dark, everything was dimly lit, couldn't see the animals clearly. duh, it's night safari, wat would i expect? LOL.
after the tram ride, went over the watch creatures of the night show. wasn't impressed as i thought i would see more big animals. but only saw owls, mongoose... cute little furry animals doing tricks.
on sat, celebrated shaun and thyetus birthday at wild rockets and then adjourned to the bar next door. had to leave shortly to meet v at blackberry. well, i discovered a new lesbian bar right at tanjong pagar. but it was kindof boring. just a simple place with a pool table. after that, we went over to toca me. that was much nicer. gorgeous bar, plenty of people, mostly girls, well, to no surprise of cos.
it's sunday, woke up and practically the whole day's gone. i'm still lazing around being unproductive... nice.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
"You just have to see that love is wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life..."
"...If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it"
It's one of the lines from the movie i just watched. after being bombarded with so many movies churned out from hollywood big machine, it's such a pleasure to discover a gem of an english movie coming from UK. it's called cashback.
got this movie off from my flatmate. watched the show without any expectations but at the end, i truly enjoyed the show. it was done with so much facets, the lines are brilliant. sensitive, profound and emotional. it's also real and true to life about how we all deal with things in life.
the story starts with an art student ben who just broke up with her girlfriend. he develops insomnia and finds it hard to forget her. he deals with it by working at sainsburys on the night shift. he meets different characters who to each, deals with time differently as they have to pass the time working at a sainsburys, which isn't the most exciting job. there, ben discovers that he could stop time and appreciate nudity of the female form. dang, this movie deals with naked women in such beauty, i almost turned straight for a second.
he starts to develop a relationship with the checkout girl and at the start, she was this pale, rather unattractive girl but as the movie continues, we see her beauty bloom and at the end, i see her in a completely different light.
i have to say this is one of the nicest movie i have watched in a long time. there is so much sensitivity in it, dealing with loss of love, a unique perspective of life, and love, and everything in between it.
i'll be catching two movies this coming weekend, indy jones and satc. i highly doubt the movies will make a mark on my mind as cashback did. but then watching an aged action hero combined with a glamorous, fashionable carrie, who's complaining.
It's one of the lines from the movie i just watched. after being bombarded with so many movies churned out from hollywood big machine, it's such a pleasure to discover a gem of an english movie coming from UK. it's called cashback.
got this movie off from my flatmate. watched the show without any expectations but at the end, i truly enjoyed the show. it was done with so much facets, the lines are brilliant. sensitive, profound and emotional. it's also real and true to life about how we all deal with things in life.
the story starts with an art student ben who just broke up with her girlfriend. he develops insomnia and finds it hard to forget her. he deals with it by working at sainsburys on the night shift. he meets different characters who to each, deals with time differently as they have to pass the time working at a sainsburys, which isn't the most exciting job. there, ben discovers that he could stop time and appreciate nudity of the female form. dang, this movie deals with naked women in such beauty, i almost turned straight for a second.
he starts to develop a relationship with the checkout girl and at the start, she was this pale, rather unattractive girl but as the movie continues, we see her beauty bloom and at the end, i see her in a completely different light.
i have to say this is one of the nicest movie i have watched in a long time. there is so much sensitivity in it, dealing with loss of love, a unique perspective of life, and love, and everything in between it.
i'll be catching two movies this coming weekend, indy jones and satc. i highly doubt the movies will make a mark on my mind as cashback did. but then watching an aged action hero combined with a glamorous, fashionable carrie, who's complaining.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
one night in bangkok - and a couple hours more
date: 19/05/08
place: mania sauna, bangkok
time: from 5am onwards
i was done, changing into my clothes, and then this guy caught my eye, sitting across from my locker. he smiled, i smiled back. goatee, small cute eyes, korean look i like. too shy to say hi, i walked passed him, went over to the bar area, looked back, he was looking. i pretended to look for something, and then gathered up enough courage and walked over. i said hi, made some small talk, got his name, C, originally from philipines. saw D was waiting, asked for his number and said i had to leave. he asked me to say but i had to go.
next day, rushed over to big c and got myself a 1,2, call prepaid. sms him if he would like to meet up, couple of hours later, got a reply "can i see you today". replied that i would like to meet at around 7.30 but totally no reply. msged two more times and completely no reply for over 4 hours, rather dissapointed, and told dave that i didn't get any reply. D suggested to call, which i did, and couldn't get through. consoled myself that his battery died therefore i couldn't reach him.
at around, 7 i got an sms and he asked me to meet him at central world. asked him to come over to arnoma but he doesn't know where, so i headed across the road to meet him. couldn't spend cos i told him i gotta go and have dinner. told him i'd meet him later at 9.30pm. went over to silom and he msged back that he can only make it at 10.30. at 10.30, he said he's at a temple @ siam and heading over now, so in the end only got to see him at 11.00. went over to sphinx. he told me that he was a singer in a band at two clubs. omg, a singer and i'm here at a karaoke with him. his first song was 'i want to give it all' by air supply. air supply i like but never heard of this song. nevertheless, it's a nice song and he sang well. i attempted to sing one song ' i don't wanna talk about it'. my performance was no better than a frog being strangled and forced to sing. he tried his best to back my singing up. sitting together, it was a nice special moment, that both of us connected and some chemistry.
after we left the karaoke, we headed to bug&bee and had a drink. guess this was a nice date, two strangers, from two different countries, getting to know each other in another country. we were wondering where to go next and then my hotel room isn't possible cos shaun is staying with me. but then after a while, i decided to drop S a msg but no reply. in the end, i told him just to follow me back. back at the hotel, i went up and dave was with S in the room. I asked permission if i could have an hour and also for C to stay over, and i guessed i was out of line as S was pissed off. So that's the end of the possibility of spending the night together with C.
I went to the lobby and informed C that we couldn't spend the night together. I walked C back to his place which was just down the road. I asked if it's possible to go to his place but he said he's sharing a studio with his flatmate. When we reached, he called his flatmate and found out that she's still out and will be back later. so then, i headed up to his place. i had a nice time. i shall spare the details, hehe. after that, i headed back to the hotel.
the next day, i thought of not seeing him again but somehow, we ended up meeting back at central world. i followed him back to his condo and we just sat by the pool, holding hands, not speaking much, while C was waiting for his laundry at the laundromat. when his laundry was done, he suggested we go down to Heaven so we jumped into a taxi. We'll with only 1 and half hours left before I leave, this was seriously one intense last farewell. when we hit silom, the traffic was so bad that we decided to detour back to mania. when we reached mania, they only open at 5pm and that's the time when i had to leave. so in the end, we just walked down silom, hands around the shoulder, knowing we only have a short moment to spend together. we went to a nearby shopping centre and had a coffee, then we went to the arcade and played a touch screen game. the sense of minutes going by and i had to leave, was a heavy feeling in my heart. so at 5, i jumped onto a motorsai and headed back. before that, i gave him a hug, but could see the disspointment on C's face...
place: mania sauna, bangkok
time: from 5am onwards
i was done, changing into my clothes, and then this guy caught my eye, sitting across from my locker. he smiled, i smiled back. goatee, small cute eyes, korean look i like. too shy to say hi, i walked passed him, went over to the bar area, looked back, he was looking. i pretended to look for something, and then gathered up enough courage and walked over. i said hi, made some small talk, got his name, C, originally from philipines. saw D was waiting, asked for his number and said i had to leave. he asked me to say but i had to go.
next day, rushed over to big c and got myself a 1,2, call prepaid. sms him if he would like to meet up, couple of hours later, got a reply "can i see you today". replied that i would like to meet at around 7.30 but totally no reply. msged two more times and completely no reply for over 4 hours, rather dissapointed, and told dave that i didn't get any reply. D suggested to call, which i did, and couldn't get through. consoled myself that his battery died therefore i couldn't reach him.
at around, 7 i got an sms and he asked me to meet him at central world. asked him to come over to arnoma but he doesn't know where, so i headed across the road to meet him. couldn't spend cos i told him i gotta go and have dinner. told him i'd meet him later at 9.30pm. went over to silom and he msged back that he can only make it at 10.30. at 10.30, he said he's at a temple @ siam and heading over now, so in the end only got to see him at 11.00. went over to sphinx. he told me that he was a singer in a band at two clubs. omg, a singer and i'm here at a karaoke with him. his first song was 'i want to give it all' by air supply. air supply i like but never heard of this song. nevertheless, it's a nice song and he sang well. i attempted to sing one song ' i don't wanna talk about it'. my performance was no better than a frog being strangled and forced to sing. he tried his best to back my singing up. sitting together, it was a nice special moment, that both of us connected and some chemistry.
after we left the karaoke, we headed to bug&bee and had a drink. guess this was a nice date, two strangers, from two different countries, getting to know each other in another country. we were wondering where to go next and then my hotel room isn't possible cos shaun is staying with me. but then after a while, i decided to drop S a msg but no reply. in the end, i told him just to follow me back. back at the hotel, i went up and dave was with S in the room. I asked permission if i could have an hour and also for C to stay over, and i guessed i was out of line as S was pissed off. So that's the end of the possibility of spending the night together with C.
I went to the lobby and informed C that we couldn't spend the night together. I walked C back to his place which was just down the road. I asked if it's possible to go to his place but he said he's sharing a studio with his flatmate. When we reached, he called his flatmate and found out that she's still out and will be back later. so then, i headed up to his place. i had a nice time. i shall spare the details, hehe. after that, i headed back to the hotel.
the next day, i thought of not seeing him again but somehow, we ended up meeting back at central world. i followed him back to his condo and we just sat by the pool, holding hands, not speaking much, while C was waiting for his laundry at the laundromat. when his laundry was done, he suggested we go down to Heaven so we jumped into a taxi. We'll with only 1 and half hours left before I leave, this was seriously one intense last farewell. when we hit silom, the traffic was so bad that we decided to detour back to mania. when we reached mania, they only open at 5pm and that's the time when i had to leave. so in the end, we just walked down silom, hands around the shoulder, knowing we only have a short moment to spend together. we went to a nearby shopping centre and had a coffee, then we went to the arcade and played a touch screen game. the sense of minutes going by and i had to leave, was a heavy feeling in my heart. so at 5, i jumped onto a motorsai and headed back. before that, i gave him a hug, but could see the disspointment on C's face...
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